I've turned a corner...
I used to think saying NO to things meant depriving myself, punishing myself. I think I've finally flipped it... meaning... that I can say NO to simple pleasures now, for greater rewards later. I think I've been working on learning this for decades. I've made many small steps and some large steps in this regard. And I just keep packing the lessons and resilience in that good ol' pack on my back, and sharing as I go, because... I share. I'm a sharer. If I could benefit from what I learn, so can someone else, somewhere, and we're all in this together, right? Right.
So. Delayed gratification.
I can't help but think about Sawyer from Lost and his "long con:" Get in there, down n dirty, do the work, stick to it, don't make a fuss about it, play the part... and at the end, it will all pay off. The big reveal. Of course, conning people is dishonest and gross, but you see where I'm going with this.
It's about the long game. The long game takes faith, persistence, and a willingness to get uncomfortable and really, really, honest with yourself. it takes seeing your weaknesses, your limiting beliefs, your nonsense. All the bullshit. The long game requires the gift of perspective, the wisdom of knowing how the journey works, and the foresight to keep going, knowing... it's just plateau, a pause, a minor setback, or a distraction. The long game... takes commitment. Investment. Patience. Focus and intention. And purpose. Why do it at all, right? For me? Well, it's to be an example, it's to prove... that people can transform. That dreams come true, that visions can come to pass. For my son, most of all, but for anyone, really.
And getting this into my stubborn head means... I become limitless. In a way. Seeing the circle, the journey-path, the circular nature of growth and working toward any significant goal... understanding how I work, how to manage anxieties when they bounce up, how to navigate around resistance, how to find my own center, my own peace, despite the rest, well... I can put any goal into that circle, now. See? Maybe only one at a time, because, busy-working-Mom, but still...
- time management
- creative goals
- fitness goals
- side gigs
Anything, really. Pick one... get started... and get ready for the circus. It all becomes much more doable and possible... once you get how it works. But you don't get to that level of knowing how it works, without continuously trying things. Again. And again. And again. And again...until you see the patterns.
Easy? Nah. Possible? Yeah. Been off sugar for a few days now and I feel fantastic. I thought I felt great before, but... now I remember why I loved Paleo so much and got such great results. It's just better for my health, and the temporary indulgences... are illusions. I think I had slowly become addicted to sugar again, without realizing it. In any event... no cookies unless I make them myself. With like... almonds and cocoa butter and coconuts or whatever. You know.
SO there it is. My son is calling me away for a transformers parade in the other room, so... SOUL COOKIES. xoxo