The editing process is the opposite of the creative. As I needle through my text, I feel a frustration build inside, a chaos. The creative force inside has no release, it's let out in tiny doses. This pent up energy causes stagnation, which causes overthinking. I don't always realize I'm going in circles, but when I catch myself in it, or take a nice (metaphorical) right hook in the face, I know I need to find a release. I force some silence, cut off the confusion outside of me, and retreat inside, so I can hear myself. I don't do well when I stifle my creativity. Everything shuts off. So, I felt inspired to write up a blog post, and how freeing it is to clear out that space. And let the energy flow through again. I am eternally in awe and gratitude of calm after the storm. The quote at the bottom of the page has been making the rounds and seems to resonate with so many women. So I thought I'd dive into some backstory, give some more color.
Once we've opened our eyes to the idea that we are the creators of our own perceptions and thoughts, imbued with our own sort of magic and opportunity, we can never again live in the same way. Each new stumble, scuffle, loss, and obstacle reminds us that we are here to learn. And to know that, to be aware of that, is powerful.
I've spoken with so many women recently, who seem to share the same story, at the heart of things.
Something isn't right, we aren't understood, something went wrong, we don't feel good enough, we aren't valued. And these ideas erupt from so many things, so many situations, and it can be absolutely heartbreaking. It can freeze you in your tracks or it can cause you to wake up. It could be issues with family members, relationship issues, divorce, betrayals, backstabbing friends, issues at work. It goes on and on. Negativity abounds. And the one thing I notice when I listen, is the question..."what's the point?" Why try. Why rock the boat. Why cause a confrontation?
And I get that, I used to fear confrontation. My face was in the OED next to the term.
I want to tell you that you can make waves. You can speak up. You can raise the bar. You're allowed to want things. You're allowed to want things. You have something inside of you, and it may have been silenced or muted after years of status quo and not tending to your own needs. This is learned and re-taught, sadly. Sometimes people love us the best way they know how, yet we are still stifled for whatever reason. Sometimes it happens in a very damaging and abusive way, that requires lots of healing and recovery. Sometimes it's in a subtle, charismatic, and sly way, so much so that you don't realize that it's happening. Sometimes it's simply that, you just hadn't given it any thought, and then something unexpected occurs to cause a shift in you. But one way or the other, this thing inside...has always been there and is speaking to you. It was born in you. It's a force of nature, it's the essence of life and creation, it's Divine in its nature and it is within you.
Sometimes you hear it, in your quiet thoughts, the ones you swallow down because you don't want to appear needy. Because you don't want to complain. Because you don't want to cause anyone hurt, you'd rather shoulder it all. This voice...is who you are. It is your magic, it is your fire, it is the passion within that will make you live your life fully, in wonder and joy. You're allowed to want things.
I want to tell you that you have a voice, a sacred voice, that needs to be listened to. The frustration mounts inside, swirling around in us, when our minds are too busy. With demands, obligations, judgements, opinions, put-downs, and all the wonderful images we're slammed with in the media to further instill a sense of inadequacy. There is so much noise, so much confusion, so much fear in our world, that we can't hear ourselves. We don't reconnect. We learn to subdue those inner rumbles, rather than let them yell out, and celebrate them. Celebrate them for the gift that they give us: passion. A fire within to stand up and voice our dreams and desires.
I ask that when you feel that rumble, when you hear those whispers, that you listen. What is it that you want? Are you thriving and grateful for the life you get to live? If no, ask yourself why not? Have you always wanted to sing, but had stage fright, so you pushed it down to where the idea fell asleep? Do you want to travel and see the world? Do you want to experience healthier family relationships? Do you want a more just and equal relationship with your partner? Do you want to switch careers? I can go on and on. The human experience is limitless, there are many fulfilling things to want.
You're allowed to want things.
If this resonates with you, if you feel called to something new, something different, or something that's hibernating deep inside from long ago... I ask that you simply...listen. Honor what your heart, your soul, is asking for. Your purpose here, is to be alive and to live your life in a way that fills you with gratitude, beauty, peace, reverence, and joy. The way into that state of being is to listen, look inside yourself and to find that passion, that brings you to life. Listen for the rumble. When you discover what that is, and you believe that you are worthy of pursuing it, the universe surrounds you with the motivation and the means to make it happen. And when the path becomes clear, the journey will begin. Just the thought, the purposeful thought, of seeking to know oneself can put you at the beginning of an adventure. Of the soul, of the spirit. An adventure into you. There is only one you in all of creation. You are unique, you matter, you are special, because you exist.
You have so much power, you probably won't know how much until you are tested. Until the storms come fast for you and you stand up in the rain and wind. And each time, you learn more, you grow a little, you uncover more of your inherent strength. You are powerful. You have wildness and magic within you. A spark, that still glows, despite anything that you've been through. Find it. Trust it. Don't apologize for wanting to explore it. You are Dvinely inspired. You are here on purpose. We all suffer loss. We all deal with betrayal. We all lose our way. But you don't have to stay lost. Find the spark.
You are so powerful. You're allowed to want things: live your life, because it's your life. Own it. Declare it. Take action. Make noise, and reconnect to your peace, self-love, and passion that screams to you. Once you do, the forces of creation, and God energy, come alive within you. Allow that blessing. Stand up and be you. And don't apologize for using your voice, you were born to use it.
Live out loud. ❤️