This just came out... not sure where it came from... something to do with accepting the fact I'm not twenty years old anymore, and owning it. This was inspired after a night out, a place I used to frequent in my younger, wild days. It brought back some memories. Some cringe-worthy, some wonderful. But I realized how much I've changed since those days...
You know that moment when you just become exhausted with the people-pleasing, or attention-seeking that you didn't even realize you were doing? It takes a while for us to change and drop ways of thinking that have kept us going for years and years. It's a process, a maddening, exhausting, but worthwhile process. And I'm always open to it, I always have my senses piqued for the next roller coaster to knock me on my ass and show me how I fucked up. Again. That's life. But I'd rather see it and grow through it, then stay an oblivious idiot. So all I can say is that I'm grateful. Feeling more at ease, relaxed, and content every day, as I let more stuff go. And the more free and at ease I feel, the more inclined I am to create, to give, to focus on my self and how I may take a step toward the future I want to see. I used to think that such behavior was cruel...selfish. Many people who are sensitive, who are peacemakers, often overextend themselves lest they appear "mean" or "selfish." So we neglect ourselves and keep trying to accommodate the world.
But...here's the thing... I just don't care anymore about how I'm perceived. Please yourself. ;-) I'd rather have fun. I'd rather feel good, allow myself to be happy, and keep creating the future that I want to see. It's really not selfish, when you think about it... because in tending to ourselves and what lights us up inside, we are presenting the best versions of ourselves to others, which may cause a ripple outward. Inspire others. Let's harness that energy into our own dreams. Put wind in our own sails. Let's be an example to those who think they can't. Just my thoughts...
It's a blissful thing when we realize that no one's opinions matter, but our own. We are our own voice of truth. Life is short. ❤️