So, after battling with my toddler over sleep, I finally passed out, myself. I was restless, my mind heavy, after idiotically looking at the feeds before going back to sleep.
"No Stacie, you can't fly out to Standing Rock and help them. Go back to sleep. You can't save the whales or the wolves or the poor or the hungry or anyone...right now, but yourself. GO to sleep." So I sat still. Cleared my mind. Let it all go and meditated for a while. And I had one of those in-between dreams. Half-awake and aware, but the mind playing a movie? Almost in a trance, like a dream...but awake? Like a daydream that you can't really control, you can only watch it. Eh. One of those.
I'd been thinking about Wayne Dyer a lot. And I notice his name more and more on social media feeds; I guess more of you are talking about him too. Wondering what his thoughts might be on the state of the world. I also think about George Carlin a lot in the same way, but I didn't dream about him. Might have been funnier. But Wayne Dyer had such a comforting, almost grandfatherly way of relating things. For me, anyway. And I miss that, dearly. And perhaps that is what prompted this conversation, in my mind's eye. But it inspired me and made me feel...hopeful. And on task, so to speak.
I don't know if this came from the ether, the spirit world, or a part of my brain that I don't access enough and I merely had Wayne say it for me...I don't know... the more I learn, the less I will say that I know. I try to keep it flexible like that, so I'm open to learning things. I try. Funny how that works. Anyway.
But I thought I'd share, as I do:
We were in an old, oak room. Like a study in a country club, that sort of feel. A bit strange, I would've preferred Hawaii, on the beach. Anyway.
I asked him, directly. "Wayne...what do we do? How are we to ....Be...in this world right now?"
He leaned in on his chair and looked into me.
"If you had chosen this...all of it... the pipeline, the election, social injustices, the climate, the chaos, Aleppo, Venezuela, the refugees, the banks, just all of it.... if you had chosen all of it to come to a head. Now. Why would that be?" He laced his fingers together and wanted me to think. I wanted answers, not a lesson.
"I wouldn't! I wouldn't choose this, come on!" He smiled, patiently.
"Ah, you're angry. Alright. But...if you had. If humanity... as one... had chosen this. Why?"
"To initiate change?"
"Maybe. With every heartache, every pain, every hurt...there is a balancing act that provides more love. With every ounce of love that you put out, you'll get more back. Use your voices for what is unjust, rally around those who struggle. Of course. Peacefully. Show compassion, always act with empathy. Conflict can't survive without your attention. Help others to help themselves. Whenever you can. Feel into the so-called enemy's hearts. Because you're all the same, really. What is really happening? You are learning to observe, feel and act together. It's getting stronger and it's something we prayed for long ago. It's happening. Trust it. The more fear and chaos that erupts in the world, the stronger, louder, and more brave the love is that will rise to counter it and balance it. Can you see that? What an amazing time! What a special, amazing time you get to live in! The Earth, humanity, wildlife, flora, fauna, all of it... is in a large-scale recovery process! And it hurts...before it heals. You are breaking open at your heartspaces to let more and more love in...and then out! You've never loved like this, allow it. These trials are bringing out the best and brightest in humanity, for a reason. And look back now... look back at how often we've been here before, what is the lesson? It's simpler than you all may see, in the midst of it. What is the lesson? There are plenty. Live in this time, feel all of it. Be fully alive in it. Heal with it. Connect to it. Grow with it. And put your love back in. Put your love in, that's all. Hold people in their best. Intentionally. Love hard! Like you mean it."
He smiled, chuckled, almost like a giddy boy. He gave me a hug. Even in the dream, my chaotic mind was begging to slow him down and ask more questions. But the dream didn't work that way. Lastly he said, "be afraid, it's alright, if you need to. For a short time. But reach out, don't be afraid alone. That way you can get past it, and get back to loving. " He laughed again, "that's what we are! Just love through it. Have the courage to live and love through these times. That's what I can say. The greatest gift that you all have...is each other, and the Love that you all share. Don't forget that. Please know, that we don't see it like that. We see an immeasurable Love growing up through the cracks to fuse humanity together. We see some stuck in fear, resisting the process. But hold on. Stay in love. Stay in love, that's all. A'll my love, to all of you."
And then the baby squeaked, my heart quickened, and I wrote it down. What a hoot. If this came from me, I'm impressed but surprised. If it came from... the wind itself, beyond the veil, from souls in the mist, then I'm grateful. Either way...it filled me up. So. I'm going to bed. Much lighter. Night. xoxo
PS...I looked this up, and it shed some actual Wayne insight on war and conflict. Some real gems in there.
Miss you, Wayne. Thanks, dream-Wayne. <3
I've been going back and forth for three hours about this one for some reason.
When I wrote it, I was cracking myself up. I thought it was adorable and cute in a self-deprecating way. Funny. I looked back...and it was too vulnerable...DELETE. So I don't know. I will leave it at: current mood. It's been a weird day in the life of me.
I do feel much better having released it. Not all that strange and crazy, is it? No... not at all... so why the weird reaction to my own words? I don't know. Just feel raw lately. Not sad, or lost, or chaotic, or anything else...just...raw. You know?
That's okay I think. Anything but numb, in this world. I'd rather be alive. xo
Brain: I know you're kind of wiped, long day, cleaning up messes. That pee-through incident was rough. I know you're tired. And you did that punching, kicking workout thing, too. Awesome! I know you're done writing for the night...but I was wondering if you'd considered that we might be in a futuristic spacecraft in hypersleep and it's already the future and Elon Musk saved us, but we'll live out our days in a big dome on Mars and there won't be any ice cream there. If we get there, even; space weather is crazy right now. Oh, and you forgot to make the brownies for tomorrow's party. Nighty night.
:earphones, Secret garden, faeries, I am Titania: