It was a fun afternoon, watching my son’s name lit up on the leaderboard - in his first-ever Pinewood Derby. He had fun, and got a taste of competition and sportsmanship.
And he went back to his Dad’s place, and I came back to this large house, with the idea that I would write.
First off, I’m super grateful for the cool place to stay, as I house/dog sit. Amazing accommodations. And I’ve had so much downtime to veg out and relax. However...I found the remote.
Loafing on a sofa with a dog that loves company - and binging shows on Netflix - is not natural for me. Not anymore. But I got hooked.
I’m someone who seldom watches TV. I write, I go to concerts or live music venues, I dine, I hike, I walk beaches, I walk the city, I drive, I roadtrip, I make acquaintances, I hang with friends, I mingle, I chat. I move around, and I love that.
And I’m damn near getting bedsores. I’m a busybody and laying around should be a relief, a rest. Peaceful, and it has been. But I feel stir-crazy.
Thank goodness there was someone else here today, to have some long chats with. Some new perspectives. New insights, new takes on old issues. And in between Moments of interaction, I dive into my phone and get sucked into the void. Scroll, scroll, wait, read, tap, scroll. More TV. More scroll. Repeat. And I start to feel like a zombie in a way that I haven’t in quite a while...
And I feel a bit desperate, trapped, wanting to run outside and look at the sky. Breathe deeply. Expand my awareness, once again, out of this box - of constant entertainments and illusions and advertisements. To breathe cool night air and feel the wind bite my skin and the cold grass tickle my ankles. Alive, my heart beating, and a part of it all. I long for the outdoors.
And it blows my mind how much of my days used to look like this: constant numbing and distracting. Hours of TV a night, endless eating, computers all day, and scrolling in-between. Few sincere exchanges or conversations. Always plugged in, all the time. Numb.
And how much more alive, present, aware, interactive, alert, energetic, and engaged I’ve become in my life. Little by little, over time, as I began to challenge my habits, one at a time. And I’m grateful for those changes.
It’s so easy to see how deeply we can fall into digital media, when we aren’t actively engaged, otherwise. It’s a window - outside of ourselves and our environments. A peek. A glimpse into other lives, other moments, that seem more interesting, perhaps.
Years back, I decided to make my own life more interesting, instead of gazing outward. That’s how Wild Horses and Mistakes was written. By throwing myself into raw experiences, places I’ve never been before. To feel things I hadn’t felt in a long time. To join with Life, to become it, to love it, to LIVE it. To experience it all, unfettered, with my senses and my notebooks to jot it down.
And to be submerged, again, as it were... into wormholes of content and media and aimless ingesting and absorbing and auto-play for so much time... really provides a great contrast for me.
It’s such a subtle thing; a change in energy. Absorbing information, instead of sharing it out. Consuming, instead of creating.
And it makes a world of difference in the psyche, even if only for a weekend.
It’s good to be reminded. To remember.
How precious and raw and real our lives can be, when we have the audacity to live them fully. I appreciate rest and contemplation as much as the next person, but creativity begs for connection, immersion, and inspiration. And a numb mind takes us further and further from those things.
Around and around we go... 💫
Mother. Librarian. Storyteller.